Life After Sight Loss
Life After Sight Loss
  • Видео 343
  • Просмотров 399 965
What Grief and a Car Wash Have in Common | Life After Sight Loss
Recently I was talking to someone about grief and I had a thought. I realized that many of us try to avoid grief because it will hurt too much. But, trying to avoid grief is like walking through a car wash and trying not get wet. It just can't be done.
Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below!
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Видео

Is It Possible to Become Too Independent? | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 788Год назад
One of the goals for many after losing their sight is to become independent. After all, we don't want to become too dependent on others. But, have you ever thought about becoming too independent? And what might that look like in your life? Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE!!! CONNECT WITH ME ON THE WEB! Facebook ➜ fb.co...
Tips on Things to Do After Your Diagnosis | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 870Год назад
I can still remember sitting in the doctor's office when I first heard the phrase "legally blind". I made several mistakes after that day and so I wanted to share some things you might want to do after receiving that diagnosis. Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE!!! CONNECT WITH ME ON THE WEB! Facebook ➜ lifeafters...
Why We Need to Educate People About Blindness Even If It's Annoying
Просмотров 739Год назад
I've heard many people say that they get tired of having to explain their visual impairment to people who don't understand. And, while I can agree with that idea, I think it is so important that we continually take the chance to educate them...even if it is annoying. Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE!!! CONNECT WITH ME ...
An Overview of the Gear I Use to Create Content (Early 2023)
Просмотров 379Год назад
Someone recently asked what I use to create the videos for my RUclips Channel. So, I thought I'd go over the items I use and what you need to get started if you are interested in making content. ⬇️ LINKS TO ITEMS I MENTIONED IN THE VIDEO ⬇️ I found links to most of the products in the video. I encourage you to look around the web for similar items. Small Background Lights: tinyurl.com/4dp878ut ...
Things You Don't Have to Do After Sight Loss | Episode #106
Просмотров 941Год назад
There are so many questions about what you should do after losing your sight. But, what about the things you don't have to do? In today's episode, we'll discuss a few of those things and why it's important to keep them in mind as you move forward. Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE!!! CONNECT WITH ME ON THE WEB! Facebook...
Why Working on Obedience with Your Guide Dog is Important
Просмотров 401Год назад
A few weeks ago I mentioned the uniqueness of the guide dog partnership. One of the ways to build that partnership is by reviewing obedience with your partner. It helps build the foundation as you move together through the world. LINKS I MENTIONED IN THE VIDEO: Guide Dogs for the Blind: guidedogs.com Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHA...
Busting 5 Myths About Being Blind or Visually Impaired | Episode #105
Просмотров 899Год назад
There are many misconceptions out there about being a blind or visually impaired person. And, before losing my sight, I'm sure I believed a few of them. So, on today's episode, we're busting 5 myths about being blind or visually impaired! Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE!!! CONNECT WITH ME ON THE WEB! Facebook ➜ fb.com...
Why You Should Keep Doing Things Even If It's Wrong | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 653Год назад
It's no secret that sight loss forces us to do things a different way. But, what happens when we get those things wrong? In today's video, I want to share some encouragement for those times when you just can't seem to get the task exactly like you want and it seems you never will. Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE!!! CO...
Discussing Symptoms of Agoraphobia After Sight Loss
Просмотров 641Год назад
Fear is certainly something that we deal with after losing our sight. But, what happens if it lasts a long time and becomes so bad we can't even leave the house? Today, we'll discuss Agoraphobia, some of its symptoms and what to do if you feel like you are dealing with it. LINKS I MENTIONED IN THE VIDEO: Article on Agoraphobia from Mayo Clinic: www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/agoraphobia...
Sharing Stories from Emotional Times in Our Lives | Episode #104
Просмотров 576Год назад
We talk about emotions a lot around here. So, today, we thought we'd discuss some personal stories from our own lives that reflect various emotions that we face on a regular basis. Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE!!! CONNECT WITH ME ON THE WEB! Facebook ➜ lifeaftersightloss Instagram ➜ lifeaftersig...
The Truth About the Guide Dog Partnership | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 723Год назад
My guide dog, Koa, is smart, sweet and a wonderful companion. But, there's more to him than just learning left and right and leading me down the sidewalk. Today, we'll discuss the truth about the guide dog partnership. LINKS I MENTIONED IN THE VIDEO: Walking on the Trail: ruclips.net/video/lvpm7Toms9s/видео.html Playlist about Guide Dogs: ruclips.net/p/PLXsEOTOabFTBViSdr3bsHkAE_7gUqXj6U Got que...
Discussing the Little Things We Miss Because of Sight Loss | Episode #103
Просмотров 702Год назад
If you ask someone what they miss after losing their sight, many times they say something big like not being able to drive. But, there are a lot of little things that you miss as well. Today, we'll share a few of those things from both the sighted and visually impaired perspective. Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSCRIBE!!! C...
Why We Tend to Hide Our Sight Loss | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 811Год назад
I read an article recently where a gentleman discussed how he would do his best to hide his vision loss. Spoiler alert: It wasn't very effective. But, why do we do this? In today's video, I'll discuss ways we try to hide things and why we feel the need to just "fit in" with everyone else. LINKS I MENTIONED IN THE VIDEO: Article I Mentioned: www.theguardian.com/society/2022/dec/27/first-novel-wr...
5 Tips on Enjoying Those Family Meals | Episode #102
Просмотров 479Год назад
Easter is just around the corner which means many people will be gathering together for a big, family meal. But, after losing your sight, these can seem a lot more overwhelming. So, today, we've got some tips on how to make things go a little more smoothly so you can enjoy time with family! Got questions? Have a thought? Feel free to share in the comments below! Make sure to LIKE, SHARE & SUBSC...
Sharing Deep Feelings Even When It's Hard | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 584Год назад
Sharing Deep Feelings Even When It's Hard | Life After Sight Loss
Can You Become Too Dependent on Others? | Episode #101
Просмотров 518Год назад
Can You Become Too Dependent on Others? | Episode #101
Basic Navigation Using Voice Over - the iOS Screen Reader | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 3,5 тыс.Год назад
Basic Navigation Using Voice Over - the iOS Screen Reader | Life After Sight Loss
Raising Sighted Kids as a Visually Impaired Parent | Episode #100
Просмотров 720Год назад
Raising Sighted Kids as a Visually Impaired Parent | Episode #100
Tools for Emotional Needs Are Just As Important as tools for Physical Needs
Просмотров 441Год назад
Tools for Emotional Needs Are Just As Important as tools for Physical Needs
How Emotions Can Manifest After Losing Your Sight \\ Episode #99
Просмотров 657Год назад
How Emotions Can Manifest After Losing Your Sight \\ Episode #99
Tips for Mastering the Big Utensil Drawer in the Kitchen | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 328Год назад
Tips for Mastering the Big Utensil Drawer in the Kitchen | Life After Sight Loss
Responding to Your Questions and Comment | Podcast #98
Просмотров 437Год назад
Responding to Your Questions and Comment | Podcast #98
False Beliefs We Have After Sight Loss and What To Do About Them
Просмотров 488Год назад
False Beliefs We Have After Sight Loss and What To Do About Them
Focusing on the Sighted Supporter's Journey | Podcast Episode #97
Просмотров 479Год назад
Focusing on the Sighted Supporter's Journey | Podcast Episode #97
Why It's Important to Manage Stress with Your Sight Loss
Просмотров 399Год назад
Why It's Important to Manage Stress with Your Sight Loss
Areas of Loss and Gain After Sight Loss | Life After Sight Loss Radio #96
Просмотров 477Год назад
Areas of Loss and Gain After Sight Loss | Life After Sight Loss Radio #96
Tip on Remembering Everything Using the Reminders App | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 518Год назад
Tip on Remembering Everything Using the Reminders App | Life After Sight Loss
Kitchen Hacks for the Visually Impaired | Life After Sight Loss Radio #95
Просмотров 698Год назад
Kitchen Hacks for the Visually Impaired | Life After Sight Loss Radio #95
Sight Loss Isn't An Excuse...Unless It Is | Life After Sight Loss
Просмотров 647Год назад
Sight Loss Isn't An Excuse...Unless It Is | Life After Sight Loss

Комментарии

  • @Speyeglass
    @Speyeglass 9 дней назад

    Who did the original podcast on vision loss and fatigue?

  • @KeithWright-nn9fz
    @KeithWright-nn9fz 12 дней назад

    Hi guys,me having a bad sight day,😒😒 I live alone in France,it’s very hard,and I am worried about the winter nights,as I have to carry my firewood upstairs,😔 This is the first time ihave made a post,about the feelings,I am having right now,😒😒 Bonjourne,guys,🤠 XX

  • @ivybator6167
    @ivybator6167 Месяц назад

    Voice Over is so damn useful for blind people ❤

  • @BERTYN58
    @BERTYN58 Месяц назад

    Very helpful

  • @amandareed1871
    @amandareed1871 3 месяца назад

    The other day I went to a movie theatre the screen is huge I was asked if I could see the movie. 😂

  • @anthonyfroggatt
    @anthonyfroggatt 3 месяца назад

    😊

  • @anthonyfroggatt
    @anthonyfroggatt 3 месяца назад

    😊

  • @alexisrivas307
    @alexisrivas307 3 месяца назад

    I got my first guide dog in 2008 from Guide Dogs for the Blind campus in California. They had just started using those harnesses. Those were nice. From there I’ve been to Guidibg Eyes for the Blibd and the Guide Dog Foundation on Long Island, New York for my 3rd, 4th and now 5th dog. The Guide Dog Foundation trains their dogs how to leash guide. Leash guidibg in perfect for taking your dog out to busy or inside an unfamiliar house. Oh, can’t forget tight spaces like restraints. The leash guiding in one of the primary reasons why I’ve kept going back to GDF.

  • @alimfuzzy
    @alimfuzzy 3 месяца назад

    DO NOT BUY PRODUCTS FROM THIS COMPANY. These headphones will hurt your ears, and they will refuse all refunds.

  • @kimhollenbeck1308
    @kimhollenbeck1308 4 месяца назад

    I enjoyed watching your video and your ideas on eye fatigue is really helpful to me,I am visually impaired with limited vision,I wear glasses and I have a history of having detatched retinas and cataracts in both eyes and laser treatments and so far having to go through my first two cataract surgeries last fall in 2023 and now I have had secondary cstaraxts in both eyes for three months now which is getting difficult to do things and it is always way to bright etc that I use my wrap around sunglasses daily

  • @micahgrauel8770
    @micahgrauel8770 4 месяца назад

    Whenever people ask me questions like How do you work with horses, of how do you swim, I tell them that I learn to do it by feel.

  • @JaniceKing-dy6wc
    @JaniceKing-dy6wc 4 месяца назад

    I have days when i cry all day as im so frustrated at what is happening, yes, im grieving my sight loss

  • @heatherbaker8194
    @heatherbaker8194 5 месяцев назад

    Following son and I have amblyopia and very depressed

  • @flowalsh5248
    @flowalsh5248 5 месяцев назад

    is there a way you can do a review and kind of a set up for the Apple AirPod pros to, I am blind completely now, I also have to use hearing aids, so I want a good video on using them as hearing aids as well, if you can, recommend one, that would be fantastic or make one.

  • @sunflowerenvy11
    @sunflowerenvy11 6 месяцев назад

    Where is sonic button on iPhone app there is on show on iPad?

  • @LulaMae27
    @LulaMae27 6 месяцев назад

    Hi Derek! I want to know how to navigate trough tables inside notes, please! Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @theparagamer786
    @theparagamer786 8 месяцев назад

    Okay just funny thing that happened on Friday at school: my teacher was introducing us to our Independent Novel Study project. She showed us one, and asked what everyone noticed about it. People answered with things like “Oh, there’s red on it” and “Oh, there’s black on it” and stuff like that. Then we got to this second one. No one, and I mean NO ONE said anything. Then my teacher went, “Guys. Come on. You all have eyes. You can tell me what’s on this poster.” and I’m just in my seat, luckily facing away from my teacher and i]my face was just screwed up trying not to laugh, because I’m legally blind and in that moment, I just thought, “hmmm…maybe but mine don’t really work too well…” Then there was this other time where this same teacher was just kinda letting us know that if we play games during class, she sees, but just doesn’t say anything. It’s a direct email home. She said, “And guys, if you’re playing games, just because I don’t say anything, does not mean I don’t see it. I’m not blind, I just stay silent.” Now a lot of people might think “Oh how insensitive there’s a kid in this room who’s partially blind”, but I actually appreciate it when people aren’t afraid to use the word blind in front of me. I love how bluntly she said it, and again, I was just trying not to burst out laughing. This teacher is my Grade 8 homeroom teacher. She was also my Media Literacy teacher last year in Grade 7, and the year before that, in Grade 6, she was my homeroom teacher, so she knows me and I know and trust her, so if she says something like that, I don’t get offended. I just know that’s how she is. And even if someone else said it, I would still be trying not to laugh.

  • @billiemink77
    @billiemink77 8 месяцев назад

  • @debbiestocks2567
    @debbiestocks2567 9 месяцев назад

    Ok. So these dogs are amazing. And trained for guiding & targeting. But I can’t help but wonder, after your relationship and bonding deepened, did your dog go beyond training and figure out that you actually can’t see? Another mystery of these incredible creatures.

    • @LifeAfterSightLoss
      @LifeAfterSightLoss 9 месяцев назад

      That is a great question! For me it seems situation based. When we are out working, he seems to realize that I cannot see and will make sure he is watching out for me. However, when we are at home, he tends to stand in my way as if he has forgotten the work we just did! lol...But, to the heart of your question, I do think they know us in a deep way. Probably more than we can even realize. Thanks for the comment!

  • @Speyeglass
    @Speyeglass 9 месяцев назад

    Who can live on a fast food salary? One has to be wealthy to be vision impaired or blind. Maybe one living in a group home. I ride paratransit to work. Most of the passengers work at the Lighthouse. They start paying at $8 an hour. One 74 year-old man who is married lives in an upper middle-class neighborhood and works to pay for a maid and special eye glasses. Its sad that he has an MBA and is assebling pens and markers. Im usually on the bus for an hour and 1/2 to two and half hours one way to work. Everyone is exhausted. Its a difficult transition for me as I was an adrilian junkie. I went kayaking at least once a month and often went to the coast. Ive lost most of my friends and what few relatives do not get it. I cant teach fulltime and dont have the stamina. In addition, students and admin gave me a hard time. I was administering a state practice test and I had a administrator. Ask why I had to use a magnifying glass and get a different pair of glasses. I often have students and other teachers ask her I’m looking at when I’m talking to them, I’m amazed that special ed teachers would act like that, I’ve also been made fun of for riding paratransit, the short bus! I’ve gotten where I do wear the uniform, as I’ve had a couple cuss me out at the hospital for turning into them. I’ve also asked where the emergency room was when I was on an elevator and a nurse responded. I don’t know and walked off. I should have learned Spanish, and I that would have been a good back up plan. Thanks for the rant.

  • @HeidiHespelt
    @HeidiHespelt 9 месяцев назад

    Hi, Derek! I puppy sat for Koa's half-sister, Bryn, this weekend. She is as amazing as Koa! And she can't help but lick 😂. Felt like Koa was back in my home.

  • @fireissick101
    @fireissick101 10 месяцев назад

    I lost it I don’t know what is this

  • @vxinos
    @vxinos 10 месяцев назад

    I'VE. had diabetic retinopathy glaucoma and hearling loss for the past 10 years and can totally agree that trying to navigate the world and your surroundings without fully functioning senses is exhausting especially crowded and loud enviornents cause me so much anxiety and will have to have a low key day the day after to recover

  • @angeladial8325
    @angeladial8325 10 месяцев назад

    Oddly comforting. It is definitely a struggle and those moments of grief do bring me down. This is oddly comforting. Thanks 🙂

  • @rosemarierossidewolf3729
    @rosemarierossidewolf3729 10 месяцев назад

    Derek it did not work

  • @marthabennett9396
    @marthabennett9396 11 месяцев назад

    You and Sam are really great helps. Thank you

  • @danabelden4492
    @danabelden4492 11 месяцев назад

    Yes

  • @karlaedson1003
    @karlaedson1003 Год назад

    Hubby made a divider for me. 😊

  • @karlaedson1003
    @karlaedson1003 Год назад

    I love listening to you talk. Good grammar, great inflections, no annoying speech habits, ya know? 😊

  • @Dyl_Apple
    @Dyl_Apple Год назад

    I’m not visually impaired but I have ADHD and always forget where I put it and something I want to share is that with iOS 17 gonna be a feature to find it in find my and iPhone’ll be able to point to where it is and that can help you if you get the updated remote that has silver on both sides. Hope this is helpful.

  • @danabelden4492
    @danabelden4492 Год назад

    Omg I do that too.

  • @danabelden4492
    @danabelden4492 Год назад

    Music for me

  • @danabelden4492
    @danabelden4492 Год назад

    Not good for me.

  • @joselomeli9393
    @joselomeli9393 Год назад

    Where can I buy this? Can I have a link?

  • @amandahandlin1405
    @amandahandlin1405 Год назад

    This might sound silly but before I got a guy dog I always assumed that they automatically knew where to take their person.😂 now I know better you have to know where you are going so they can help you get there..

  • @amandahandlin1405
    @amandahandlin1405 Год назад

    Thank you I think I needed to hear this as someone who has been slowly losing their sight since they were born I didn't think much about when it would finally happened that I wouldn't see anything and now that it has happened I do okay most days but there are still a lot a days when I'm not okay with any of this. All the things that I have done and learned in the past to maybe make things easier. I have since learned that it didn't help it make any easier to deal with in the when the inevitable happened I have started to see a counselor to help me deal with some of these feelings. It helps but I still have days where I think why me or I'm just really angry over things.

  • @SweetpeaSweets
    @SweetpeaSweets Год назад

    I’m on the waitlist for a guide dog because I have a 1yr old daughter and am around lots of toddlers. Toddlers and canes don’t mix well and I have knocked down kids before.

  • @nearly-blindbrian8372
    @nearly-blindbrian8372 Год назад

    I just started caring one when I travel to let folks know to give me a wide berth.. I have found it's hard to manage my carry on, the cane and if. pick up a drink. thanks

  • @danabelden4492
    @danabelden4492 Год назад

    They always look good u can't tell

  • @Radarcb329
    @Radarcb329 Год назад

    Not an up to date explanation or not applicable. On my Apple TV, one just highlights and selects the name of the video, for the description.

  • @thattacoguy
    @thattacoguy Год назад

    I was hard stuck in the denial stage of grief for over a decade. I shut myself off from the rest of the world as my vision faded. I had a cane in my apartment but regarded it with resentment. It wasn't until undiagnosed severe anxiety and depression nearly had me take a permanent solution to a temporary problem (even though vision loss is permanent, kinda funny). The denial was essentially a brick wall in front of my life that was just where I'd remain stuck. I then crashed through that wall, battered and broken on the other side, but through it nonetheless. After recovering, I picked up the cane, turned on the screen reader, and dived head first into moving forward. Receiving treatment for my anxiety and depression, as well as going to doctors again to at least tap the brakes on what little left of my vision, I feel like I've gotten new purpose. I've picked up a career in accessibility consulting, utilizing my technical background combined with my disability as an asset rather than a liability. Reflecting on my life, I'm happier now than I think I ever was when I was sighted. I don't often get pangs of grief. The occasional wave of the why me's, but I recognize that I essentially did it to myself and if I stop moving forward I'll stop for good. What gets me the most is, strangely, imposter syndrome. I feel like a fake blind person, even though I can't see crap. My biggest fear is I'll confidently stroll in and suggest something and be met with someone who's been blind for decades longer than me and regards me with a "what is this chump doing?" reproach. Like I'll eventually find out that the advocacy that now gives me purpose actually does more harm than good. I have no rational reason to think this, and it is honestly the most frustrating part of my life now. Obviously vision loss affects people in as many ways as there are people with vision loss. For my own story, if someone gave me the sophie's choice of either getting my vision back and having to deal with the anxiety and depression, or lose all of my remaining vision immediately but I'd never have to feel those feelings again... I'd tell them to hit the lights on the way out because I wouldn't be needing them anymore.

  • @EricEdwards-bv6ks
    @EricEdwards-bv6ks Год назад

    hi I have lost my sight 52 years ago and still deal with grief

  • @keybubba
    @keybubba Год назад

    thank you i needed this❤✨🫶🏿💫

  • @darquequeen
    @darquequeen Год назад

    I find myself longing for yesterday, when I had normal sight sometimes. Then I wonder how different would my life be had I not lost most of my vision. I know that’s something I’ll never know, but that’s probably why it makes me sad at times. I just lost my sweet daddy a year ago, and I find I think the same about him. How different would my life be right now if he was still here. Grief is something we can learn to manage, but it doesn’t go away. 😔

    • @LifeAfterSightLoss
      @LifeAfterSightLoss Год назад

      We can learn to manage grief but it doesn't go away. Simple yet a true and profound statement. Thanks for sashing!

  • @blindnessisaspectrum6237
    @blindnessisaspectrum6237 Год назад

    Just yesterday, I looked in the mirror and realized the sandy color I have been seeing for some years now has turned black. My first thought, out loud was, Oh crap! I was good with the sand color, I didn't feel blind in that eye, even though I couldn't see out of it. Now, I know what I am seeing in my good eye is just months away from the full sand color. I don't think grieving a progressive eye disease ever stops. But I'm not sad yet, just disappointed.

  • @monicaperez2843
    @monicaperez2843 Год назад

    Actually, everyone should strive to be interdependent.

  • @charlieturner566
    @charlieturner566 Год назад

    If I wanted to go to the next island, I would have to swipe to the left, instead of to the right. Is there a way to fix that? I flipped it the other way, and it still did it the same way. Should I write with Draco backwards into the left to go towards By the way sorry if it sounded so terrible, it’s my dictation on my iPhone, but doesn’t listen to me that much.

    • @LifeAfterSightLoss
      @LifeAfterSightLoss Год назад

      I'm not sure exactly what you mean. If you are swiping one way it it is gong the other, it might be a glitch in your phone. Make sure you are up to date with your software and try to restart your phone. And if you can give some more details that might help. Hope you find a fix!

    • @charlieturner566
      @charlieturner566 Год назад

      After I reset all of my settings on my iPhone, 13 mini, I went into Messages, to type a text, and it said, move your finger across the screen to select a letter, and I accidentally said, OK, and now, all of my gestures are slipped up Actually, I just realized that nothing was wrong.

  • @janetbeagle4563
    @janetbeagle4563 Год назад

    Love this topic. I love educating the kids when they see my husband’s guide dog. The natural reaction for the kids is to come up and pet Jammer. That’s when. I say Mr Larry can’t see like you and I and Jammer is working to make sure Mr Larry does not run into doors or people. Explaining not to distract service animals 🦮 is extremely important too

  • @DianaWilson
    @DianaWilson Год назад

    One of the things I noticed is because I am gradually loosing my eyesight, I grieve over and over as I loose more vision. It comes when I loose a major ability. My first big loss was my ability to drive. That was my way to relax and destress was to take a drive. Each big thing I loose sets off a new round of grieving that I have to work through.

    • @Josephiiina
      @Josephiiina 4 месяца назад

      For me it is the same. It goes gradually and it is like a new funeral every time, over and over again

  • @accordingtodoug6320
    @accordingtodoug6320 Год назад

    Hey Derek, yes, I still struggle with the idea of wanting to be too independent, but I try to stop and realize that it's not all about me. Sometimes I'm so focused on proving something to myself I don't stop and consider the other person. Everybody needs to be needed at some point and whether you can do it or not, sometimes it's a gift to the other person to ask or accept help.